Scared, Revision

I decided to write a short story based on one of my ZOOMING IN entries.

In a humble home, on the upper east side of Manhattan, Jenn, a teenage girl, was running up the phone bill, talking to her best friend, Jill.”So anyway, he said that and I’m like, oh my gosh, like did you really just ask me that? Johnny is so clueless.” The lights flickered and the phone connection crackled, “Mum! What was that noise?… MUM?!”
Becoming annoyed at her non-responding mother, Jenn, still on the phone, decided to walk down to her mothers room and demand an explanation for why she was being ignored, but when she stepped out of her doorway, an icy breeze brushed past her shoulder. “I’ll call you back Jill.” She set the phone down and looked around the hallway. “Frank, if you’re trying to scare me, knock it off.” Frank was her little brother, he was 9, and always trying to prank her because she forget his birthday 4 years in a row.
The phone, on its stand next to the light, started making loud crackling noises in short outbursts every second. “Frank! It’s not working,” she banged on the door hard, it’s hinges creaking,” come out here right now! Frank!” She stood even closer and knocked harder.

Just behind her, icy fingers softly grazed her neck, sending chills down her spine, causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up. “You’ve gone too far! Let me in!”
The phone line crackled again, but this time, more vigorously. Only a second after, the yellow lamp (the only lamp in the hallway) started shaking on the table, it shook so much that it fell on the ground, shattering to pieces.
She opened a draw and fumbled around for a flashlight and two double AA batteries. Swiftly, the batteries slid into the slot.
The torch clicked on, and she saw a shadow- but it wasn’t hers, it had long pointy fingernails, a long black robe, and no hair.

Even though she knew that she shouldn’t walk any closer, Jenn seemed to be pulled into a trance the shadow had put on her from around the corner, she just had to know what was back there. Her heart remained stable and hypnotized. The frozen fingers clasped the width of her neck and started to squeeze until she screamed and her ears started ringing.
With the most forceful tug, she managed to release the grip from the dark silhouette. Her left foot tripped over the right one, resulting in her stumbling into, and pushing open, her brothers door, where she ran to close the door behind her.

Heart rate slowing, she turned around… but she shouldn’t have. Her brother lay in his bed, looking peaceful. Then Jenn blinked and looked again, the figure had poised a knife above Franks temple. Then- in slow motion, she ran towards the figure and pushed him out of the window, which was cracked open, letting in a icy breeze. Still, she had not completely succeeded, the knife had rammed into the center of her silk pajamas, she then fell on her brothers red sheets, the last thing she said was, “happy birthday” 4 times.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *